Posted January 31, 2021 by Dioniso Punk Around

Kidnap the Kitty

Some models grew up in some of the most prestigious all girls British boarding schools, and went to prayer every morning for 8 years. They remember when you were a kid and people’d ask you what you want when you grow up and you’re like “I want to stop crying internally” — but now that you’re an adult you still live in constant agonising pain, so it’s like kind of awkward but you do you.

Some models are vegan vampires in a Schiele weight class. They have to invest so much in finding a good sunscreen that doesn’t damage coral reefs, since they stopped drinking blood to get their vitamin d but have to go under the sun.

Some models walk at night in their elegant underwear and white rabbit mask, then stop for photos, in front of a music shop in Denmark Street. They think if it were the 1950s, they’d have a husband and a lobotomy already.

Some models recommend eye contact when you’re not alone in your bed, but also things that make it uncomfortable afterwards. They’re euphoric in the skin they live in, but sometimes their narcissism is no match for how much they actually hate themselves.

Some models are really a ride or die kind of girl. They ask themselves if they have a commitment issue, but then they look in their hand and realise they’ve never left a bottle of wine unfinished.